I can't believe this really works.

• So, I get back from roofing for a couple hours out in Southfield, and I go on Facebook you know, the usual. Think about changing my status to something about crying because New Moon is so far away from theatrical release. But, I go to my chat, and see a random girl I've never talked to.

• You see, I love making myself laugh, and sometimes the stupidest shit does it, but even I surprise myself.

• My friend is over and I holler to him.

• Me:

  "Hey Logan, watch this. See this girl? Never talked to her before in my life."

• I type "What's up, bitch?"

• Logan:

  "Dude you're fucking stupid"

• And he starts laughing.

• Me:

  "Swear to god, this girl will be knocking on my window in three hours."

• Her:

  "Uhm, hi?"

• Her:

  "Nothing reallyyyy, you?"

• See? I called some random girl a bitch, didn't say anything afterwards, and she's wondering what I'm up to.

• I then proceeded to talk about how she needed a man who chopped down trees with his teeth, a man like me. And she totally flirted back.